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+--- Thread: New to FTM (/t-new-to-ftm)
New to FTM - DJH - 09-17-2014
Hello. I'm rather new to all this as far as the procedures go and really struggling with finding the answers. I guess that's what you encounter when you're on new territory. Is there anyone you can go to that can help guide you in the processes? Where's the best places? Etc. I have a few friends that know and are supportive, but it's like the ignorant leading the blind.
I think I've decided on the breast removal, body masculinization, facial reconstruction, vaginectomy and metoidioplasty. I also seem to prefer the hospitals in England as they seem to have the best result statistics. But it's like a jig saw puzzle you have to try and piece together to find the answers.
I've known all my life I was different and began looking at girls at a very young age. But the era I was raised and the environment, I pushed these feelings deep inside me. Once I came out, it was like a new life for me. But still I wasn't having lesbian sex. I would have sex with women but envisioning in my head that I was a man making love to them and the process of how that would feel. And all but one relationship was actually with all straight women who I was their first.
So this whole sexual development thing for me has been an evolving process. Which has led me to the path I'm now beginning of realizing I'm not a woman who is a lesbian but a man who just doesn't have the anatomy of a man. And now it all makes perfect sense.
So where to start? Is there a place for this type of support as far as helping to put the puzzle together?
And I also do have one question. As in reality I am a woman, I get yelled at quite frequently for using the women's restroom, even threatened a few times to have the cops called on me. At what point is it ok to use the men's room? Most people I encounter already see a man. Should I wait until I've grown facial hair or take the risk now?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
RE: New to FTM - Joshua - 09-22-2014
Welcome and thank you for posting!
Because everyone's transition experience is so unique, there's no be-all transition guide that I can refer you to. But I do recommend reading this: Medical Therapy and Health Maintenance for Transgender Men: A Guide For Health Care Providers
The place to start would probably be your doctor. Do you have one that you trust? Trans-knowledgeable is helpful but not required. Typically, a doctor refers you to an endocrinologist (endo), assuming you want hormone therapy. Your doctor can also provide referrals to surgeons, if you live somewhere that has surgery funding in place. If you are paying out of pocket for surgeries, then you can make arrangements directly with the surgeons' office.
Surgeons will require letters of support, usually from a therapist of some kind. Finding a good therapist is another building block that you can work on now to move things forward.
When to use the men's room is a personal decision. I didn't feel safe enough to do that until I'd been on hormones for a bit. Also, depending on where you live it could be against the law for you to use the men's room if your ID says F. I would probably hold off a bit.
I hope this helps! Please feel free to ask anything.