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+--- Thread: just coming out FTM (/t-just-coming-out-ftm)
just coming out FTM - kickitdown - 11-15-2014
I've known I was a male trapped in a female body since I was about 4. I knew I had female body parts but for some reason I never really let it effect me. I've always just labeled myself as ME, opposed to a lesbian, or even a gay male.
None of this is really going to make sense and I apologize for the rambling but I think it'll help just sharing my story
Anyway, I just turned 30 and I've decided I just can't live like this anymore. I'm satisfied with myself, my looks and everything else but I can't keep living a lie. I can't wishing and dreaming anymore. Like I said, I've known all along, but it took till recently for me to admit to someone other than myself.I started dating a new girl (lesbian) for 3 months now and she just felt like the right person to tell. Granted, she completely understands and supports it. She's pushing me to follow through and finally make the changes i need to be happy. I'm a strong believer in no labels, anything is possible.. but I don't know now I just feel not good enough. Is it normal to be confused about your partner accepting it so well? I'm so glad, but I guess I just have so many thoughts in my head and I feel so incomplete.
So basically, I'm 30 now and I'm finally ready to live life and a proud FTM trans. Problem is, I have no idea what the steps are from here and I'm really scared. Being scared is expected I guess but I just don't know what to even do from here! I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Tuesday 11/18 to finally bring up the issue I've been neglecting to.
Anyone have any suggestions as to what to do from here? I'm just nervous, but I'm ready. I don't know much of anything about the steps to take to find out more about my options with T, transitioning and everything else. PLEASE any opinions or insight would be greatly appreciated!
RE: just coming out FTM - HotBoiT - 11-17-2014
Hey sounds like we're at kinda the same place in life. I'm 23 from New Orleans. I've lived all my life as lesbian. But I've never quite felt right. I feel more like myself when I pack and bind. I haven't come out to my partner yet but with the right support I plan to shortly. I hope we can help each other through our journeys
RE: just coming out FTM - Joshua - 11-17-2014
It doesn't always happen for everyone as kids, but I also had that early experience and got a GID diagnosis at 5 years old.
Yes, I'd say it's normal to be a bit confused by a partner's full on acceptance, especially since it's something that's often difficult to accept yourself. Count yourself lucky to have a supportive partner!
Do you have a primary doctor? My doctor has been an important "point person," making all necessary referrals, and he manages my prescription for T. The process can be different depending on one's goals, but a common path would be: talk with doctor or therapist; if no therapist, find one who can write support letters for HRT and surgery; get referral to endocrinologist; get clearance from doctor, endo & therapist for HRT; get clearance from doctor & therapist for surgery; start looking for surgeons and ways to fund surgery; and onward.
Does your psychiatrist have trans experience?